My taxi driver friend, Terry is philosophical and spiritual - maybe more so than me. He and I often spend hours pondering the Meaning of Life and our place in the universe. Each of us has taken a different path to end up where we are. Neither of us would change a thing, nor would we swap lives with anyone else.
We marvel at the endless little variables...all the little coincidences of nature that had to occur for he and I to be at this particular place and time. If any one of a gazillion little things had changed, he would not be Terry and I would not be Bob. And like I said, I'm pretty happy being me.
Terry and I are...for lack of a better word, ministers. Not officially, but we minister just the same. We get people in our cabs and have an opportunity to bond with them for a few fleeting minutes. So we have to make those moments count. As I see it, my goal is to get them to feel good about themselves, and feel good about the world. It would be a profound tragedy to go through life without a positive outlook.
Some people clearly do not want to talk. A man and woman got in the cab at the airport the other night. They gave me an address in a swanky area downtown. As we took off I asked, as I always do, what brought them to Pensacola...visiting, or coming home? (I kind of knew the answer - but you can never assume.)
"Coming home," was the woman's terse, icy reply.
I didn't push it. I could tell she was having a bad day...or perhaps a bad life. The man said nothing other than to direct me to their door. At least they tipped well.
Other times...most of the time...you develop a connection with passengers. I do not like talking about politics, because I don't know much about it. But I'm never shy about talking about my faith. And I'll tell ya, faith figures large in most people's lives. It's just that we're so reluctant to talk about it – maybe because we don't want to be challenged? Given the opportunity and a receptive ear, most people are happy with the ability to talk about something so personal as faith that it just comes bubbling out!
"Coming home," was the woman's terse, icy reply.
I didn't push it. I could tell she was having a bad day...or perhaps a bad life. The man said nothing other than to direct me to their door. At least they tipped well.
Other times...most of the time...you develop a connection with passengers. I do not like talking about politics, because I don't know much about it. But I'm never shy about talking about my faith. And I'll tell ya, faith figures large in most people's lives. It's just that we're so reluctant to talk about it – maybe because we don't want to be challenged? Given the opportunity and a receptive ear, most people are happy with the ability to talk about something so personal as faith that it just comes bubbling out!
Of course nobody likes having someone else's faith shoved down their throat. as the saying goes. And so as a cabdriver I have to walk a fine line. I simply cannot be judgmental. Say the wrong thing and you can piss off the customer and jeopardize your tip. Say the right thing and you've made an instant friend.
It all boils down to the art of conversation. And the art is in listening more than you speak.
It all boils down to the art of conversation. And the art is in listening more than you speak.
5 comments:
Have you ever taken a Dale Carnegie course on public speaking? I did years ago and it taught me a lot about the art of conversation and I've used it to my advantage ever since.
I believe our friend Bob already has the gift of gab, Ed. How much fun would it be to be one of his passengers?! As for me, I’m not too good at spontaneous conversation and would probably benefit from some pointers.
No Ed, I've never taken the Dale Carnegie course. However years ago I was briefly involved in an ill-fateed multi-level marketing scheme. It wasn't illegal, but nearly all MLM's are shady in that the only way to keep the thing making money was to recruit everybody IN THE WORLD.
Anyway, we had a fairly small group. Once a month we'd rent a conference room in a local hotel for our rah-rah recruitment meetings. One of the things we all had to do was get up and be the moderator/ringleader of those meetings. And as you'd expect, it's pretty frightening at first. Gradually though I became more comfortable with it and began to enjoy it. Now it doesn't bother me to get up in front of large crowds and talk. "Gift of gab," as Bob puts it? Oh yeah.
The good news is that I can strike up a conversation with a complete stranger and quickly get them to tell me the most intimate details of their life. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard, "I don't know why I'm telling you this..." That little ability/trick comes in mighty handy when you're trying to get a passenger to not focus like a laser on the taximeter.
Actually it's no trick at all. All you have to do is convince the other person that you genuinely care about them, and that what they're saying is important to you.
And if it's one thing I'm good at faking, it's sincerity!
I think that the biggest part of displaying faith is not in how your words are used at all. I think it is turning the light onto others, about putting yourself and your words second. It's about loving your neighbor as yourself. It is in the midst of that when you will realize that you are loving God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind.
Thank you, Debby, you are absolutely right! In fact, I'll be addressing this very thing shortly ;)
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