Car Smells

A lot of Uber drivers eat in their cars, but I don't.  I don't want the car smelling like food.  Which is also why I don't do Door Dash, Uber Eats, or any of the other food-delivery services.  It's bad enough that the car smells like me.  I don't need people getting in and going, "So you had McDonalds for lunch, eh?"  And then I'd go, "Uhhhhh yeah, *four hours* ago!"  The smell of fast food does linger.

Having said that, yesterday I went through the Wendy's drive-thru.  For some reason, they up-sized my fries.  It's okay, I like Wendy's fries.  I went over to the airport to sit in the queue and eat.  Since I wasn't number one, and this is Pensacola and not LAX, I knew I had some time to scarf down my oh-so-healthy lunch (with the windows and sunroof open) before I got a run.  

Upon pulling said container of upsized fries out of the bag, the damn thing literally exploded!  Don't ask me how.  I mean, fries went everywhere! What the...!  Mostly all over my passenger seat and a few on the floorboard.  I rounded up most of them, but one little bugger slid down between the seat and the center console. I tried to fish it out with my crossword puzzle pen, but it only got worse.  Then I dropped the pen down there too.  Now I had a french fry *and* a pen lost in the bowels of my car.  The errant fry had slipped down *under* the seat track, out of sight and very inaccessible.  It was *GONE* baby!  Dammit.  Now I'd have to go home and take the passenger seat out.  Don't want no decomposing french fry stinking up my car.  I finished out the day, angry at myself for not being more careful.

And so this morning I figured I'd try something.  I straightened out an old wire coat hanger and slid it in from the front, between the console and the seat track and floorboard.  And by Jove, that did the trick!  It worked a treat, as the Brits say.  That little french fry fucker came pooping right out the back of the seat track, along with my ballpoint pen, thankfully, as I wasn't done with the crossword puzzle yet, and also a dime and a penny, which is odd, because I can't remember the last time I carried any coin change at all.     

Some drivers over-deodorize their cars with powerful air fresheners.  They must think the passengers like it.  They don't.  The passengers just assume the driver is trying to cover up the smell of the weed he just smoked.  Not me.  I just want my car to smell like car.