The Greatest Music of All Time

You all know I love the music of the 1980s. Recently I was with my older brother Bill who is six years my senior, and another friend my age. We were in a bar on 23rd Street in NYC literally right next door to the historic Hotel Chelsea where so many cultural luminaries have stayed before they got famous (or dead), including Bob Dylan, Dylan Thomas, Janis Joplin, Arthur C. Clarke(!) and of course, the infamous and ill-fated Sid Vicious (of the ‘70s punk rock band The Sex Pistols) and his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen.

The topic of conversation turned to music. Bill came of age in the ‘60s, the lucky bastard. So while I was kind of young to really appreciate the music of the time, he received its full force on his teenage psyche.

Anyway, I got to ranting (as I do) about how the music of the ‘80s was so great, better than all other music ever made (there may have been beer involved). Bill looked at me with that practiced, condescending expression of an older brother who wasn’t about to let a younger one get away with saying something stupid, even if there was beer involved.

“So tell me, Bobby,” he said with arched eyebrow, “what are some of the bands from the ‘80s that I might have heard of?”

Uhh. Ever get put on the spot and draw a complete blank? It was a classic Jackie Gleason moment. Hammina-hammina-hammina. I scratched my brain, but only weakly came up with the Pet Shop Boys, Duran Duran, and…I looked at my cohort for help, but he offered none.

Bill said nothing, letting us stew in our uncomfortable silence. He’d made his point. In defense of the 1980’s, while we may not have had supergroups like The Beatles and the Stones, we still did have a lot of great music produced by infinitely more but less well-known bands. (Actually, as I type this I’m still having trouble coming up with ‘80s bands that really made a mark. Flock of Seagulls? Really? I think not. But they did have a good song or two. Okay, one.)

Flash forward. There is a new channel on my local cable system called Cool-TV. They play music videos the way MTV and VH-1 used to before those channels turned to shit. I usually do not have the TV on unless I want to watch something specific (e.g. “Cougartown”), and then I shut it off. But I had Cool-TV on in the background the other day while doing, oh, something important (playing on Facebook, I think). And then it happened. A song began that I had trouble identifying at first. I could have been Pink Floyd’s “Run Like Hell” (from “The Wall” album), but it might also have been Stevie Nicks’ “Edge Of Seventeen.”

Nope, neither, it was Survivor’s 1982 hit, “Eye of the Tiger.” The song is typical ‘80s crap-rock, but the video is hilarious. Hilariously bad, that is. I can’t believe that the people putting this together actually thought it was good. It is not. It rivals Journey's horrible "Separate Ways" video for sheer and utter badness.

The "Eye of the Tiger" video opens up with various night scenes in an indeterminate city. It’s obviously a bad part of town, judging by the signs we see for “totally nude girls." We are introduced to the band members one at a time. First is the leather jacket and beret-clad lead singer, Dave Bickler. He scowls menacingly, then begins striding quickly down the street, joined in V-formation by the rest of the band who are also similarly attired in too-tight leather jackets and waaaaay too-tight jeans (dear Lord!). As I said, they are all similarly attired…except…except for founding member of the band, Jim Peterik. Either the producer failed to tell Peterik that the “look” of the video was going to be “everyone in black leather” or Peterik unilaterally decided to go his own way with his unbuttoned shirt and white t-shirt (what a rebel!). He looks decidedly out of place in that band of faux-ruffians.

I present the video here for your viewing pleasure. Be prepared to laugh.



I get my brother Bill’s point. But I still maintain that some terrific music came out of the 1980s, even if the decade did live in the shadow of the 1960s, which I’ll soberly concede produced some of the greatest music of all time.

Grudging Props to the iPad

Today I received a comment on my post about me getting a smart phone. Mike, the commenter said, “Welcome to the 'Modern World' Bob. It’s crazy what you can do with technology these days. I’ve got flight instructors who use the iPad for a kneeboard*. It’s spiffy. It’s interesting where we’ve been and where we’re headed.”

Funny he should say that.

As I type this I’m sitting in a hotel room in Birmingham, Alabama. On the desk in front of me are: 1) My laptop; 2) my iPad; and 3) my Android smart phone.

My iPad isn’t good for writing. In fact, I’ve been slow to warm up to the iPad. I like it and all, but I just can’t see it replacing either my laptop *or* smart phone. It's an interesting device - one that I’ve been keeping it at arm’s length, so to speak, tucked away in my overnight bag.

However the iPad is good with this amazing aviation program called Foreflight. Whoever designed this thing is a genius. The program combines all of the things we pilots need as we go about our jobs. Flight-planning, weather, navigation…you named it, it’s got it. For me, the best feature is Foreflight’s ability to present Sectional Charts (which are just aviation-specific maps). I'll tell you why in a second. This is fine by itself (and indeed, other programs do this too. But Foreflight places your aircraft on the chart and shows its progress as you move along. No more getting lost! No more folding and unfolding paper maps!

Today was a busy day for us and the helicopter. The boss wanted to visit five locations in Mississippi and Alabama. There are really no Interstate highways that go to these places, and he would not have been able to see all of the locations in one day without the helicopter. We left home base, headed for our first stop: Tuscaloosa, Alabama. From there we continued north to Tupelo, Mississippi where we’ve opened a new dealership. Very quickly I discovered a problem.

Normally I carry with me the two aviation charts (i.e. “maps”) that cover the area we normally fly in. Somehow the charts got mixed up and I did not have the appropriate chart for any of the locations we were headed for. Don’t ask me how…it was a dumb mistake on my part. I did however have the appropriate chart for Baton Rouge, Louisiana, but that city was not on our list. This is not a huge problem, as the aircraft GPS has all the information I need. And there is no FAA requirement that I keep paper charts in the aircraft. But I’m old-school – I like having paper charts.

But then I thought, “Heyyyyy, wait a minute! I’ve got the iPad!” I whipped that puppy out of the baggage compartment and fired it up. Sure enough, I was able to display everything I needed. And the beauty? You can take the chart on the screen and zoom it to make it readable even without reading glasses! (You young pilots do not yet appreciate the usefulness of this feature. But you will!)

My dad, who flew in WWII and the Korean “conflict” is long gone now. But if he were to somehow come back from the grave he would not believe the advances in technology that have come to aviation. He would scoff at me, tell me how easy I’ve got it, and then tell me I’m not a real pilot if I can’t do a 500 mile flight with just a compass, a watch and an old road map from an Esso gas station. In really poopy weather.

Which is all true.

The iPad is now a permanent part of the "necessities" I carry in the cockpit when I fly. The paper charts (when I remember to bring them) will stay folded up in a pouch. I may even write a little app which will let me use the iPad as my flight log sheet (which lets me keep track of my takeoff and landing times, where I've been and who I've flown) so I don't have to maintain the paper one.

Time marches on, baby!




* A kneeboard is just a small clipboard some pilots use which rests on and is sometimes attached to our thigh just above our knee. On it we usually attach pertinent information about the flight (charts, pens, notes, clearances, etc.) that we want to keep handy so we don’t have to grope around the cockpit for it. They even make one now that accommodates an iPad. I don't usually use a kneeboard, but the iPad thingee might make me a convert.

Guitar Hero? More Like Guitar Zero

I’ve always wanted to play the guitar. There was a pawn shop on the way home from elementary school, and in the window they had some sort of electric guitar – for all I know it might have been a real Fender Stratocaster back in those days before their prices became stratospheric. Whatever it was, it was there and I’d always stop and lust over it. The problem was back then (as it is now) that I didn't think I had any talent. My parents had forced piano lessons on me when I was ten, but I didn’t learn anything other than I can find Middle-C now. I’d look at that guitar in the window and think, “Some day…some day…”

Well, that someday is now, only 46 years later.

I did not want an acoustic guitar; nor did I want one that was completely electric. There is a hybrid is called a “semi-hollow body.” It’s a cross between an acoustic and a traditional electric: A big, thin guitar with two acoustic chambers on either side of the strings and electric pickups. Think Chet Atkins or early George Harrison. Both Gretsch and Gibson had been making similar versions of this type since the 1950’s. They are more of a country music guitar than hard rock. (They can sound kind of “twangy.”) But I wanted something versatile – you can play semi-hollow bodies at home without an amp. Compromises are usually never good, but even today semi-hollow body guitars still have a big following.

ABOVE: Ahh, the original! The Gibson ES-335.

My friend Larry Curtis was a fellow pilot when we were both at PHI back in the day. I left the company in 2001, but he stayed there until a recent health problem sidelined him, perhaps for good. As well as being a great helicopter pilot, he is also an accomplished musician. On YouTube he had posted many videos of himself recreating many famous songs – with Larry doing all of the parts! (Although I see he has removed nearly all of the videos for some reason.) His YouTube name is/was The Silver Hamer which I thought was a misspelling at first. It is not; Larry likes Hamer guitars. I turned to him for advice.

I told Larry I was considering the Ibanez AS73 and the Epiphone Dot Studio. These are modern replicas – you might say “knockoffs” of the incredible Gretsch Country Gentleman and Gibson ES-335 (which are still being produced and are hideously expensive now). The Ibanez and Epiphone had the look that I wanted, and the reviews said they were pretty good guitars for the price. They’re available new at most guitar shops for around $400.

ABOVE: Here's the Ibanez AS73. It's nice- but it just didn't push the right buttons for me.

ABOVE: And here's the Epiphone Dot Studio. Kind of plain and cheap-looking if you ask me.

Larry suggested I instead look at a guitar called the Hamer Echotone. And so I did. It had everything I wanted, and it had gotten great reviews as well. While brand-new Echotones are not being made anymore, there were a couple on eBay in my price range. One even had all of the modifications suggested in most of the reviews, and came with a hard-shell case too! I bid on it and won. It is bright red - oh boy, is it red! I would have preferred something a little less flashy, but oh well.

Here's the Hamer Echotone. *My* Hamer Echotone!

So now I have my guitar. All I have to do is learn how to play it. And there’s the rub. If you look at most accomplished guitarists, they have long, slender fingers. My fingers are short and stubby. Makes it tough to play some of the chords. And then there's that talent thing...

It’s odd learning a new skill at this age. I try to practice a little every day, but even so progress is slow. Frustratingly slow. Not to worry, some things don’t come easy. I did not learn to fly a helicopter overnight. I know that learning to play the guitar will take some time as well. And learn, I will.

Me and the Modern World

You know my attitude towards phones: I hate 'em. But sometimes you've just got to go with the flow.

I’d been putting off getting a smart phone. I wanted one; I just couldn’t see committing two years of my life to AT&T or Verizon and jumping on the iPhone bandwagon. And the expense! How on earth do people justify cell phone bills of $100/month? I couldn’t do it. My phone/cable/internet bill at home is only $60/month, but still! Do I look rich? Do I look like I have money to burn?

My friend Mikey had the solution. Walmart was selling a Samsung Galaxy smart phone for $150. With it comes a "Straight Talk" no-contract plan with unlimited talk, text and internet for $45/month. No, it’s not the latest-and-greatest, gee-whiz technological marvel (i.e. it’s not the Galaxy IIs), and it’s only a 3g phone, and it uses the Sprint network. But for what I need it adequately fills the bill. For now. It remains to be seen if it works up in the hinterlands of Washington State. I may grudgingly become an iPhone convert after all.

As a pilot it’s great having access to real-time weather, of course. But there are so many cool features! One of the other neat things about this Android phone is the ability to compose text messsages by just speaking them. Very handy when driving. Not that I’d ever do that.

Having the internets in your pocket is neat – as nearly everybody on the planet already knows. How did we live without these things? I am an unashamed convert. To which everyone will say, “Took you long enough!”

Boeing versus Airbus

It is interesting to watch the competition between Boeing and Airbus.

On one hand, Boeing has always been the supplier of air-to-air refueling planes for the military (e.g. the KC-135 which is in reality derived from the old model 707). Airbus wanted a piece of that action, and when the contract came up for bid the European company aggressively pitched a version of its own to be built a few miles west of here in Mobile, Alabama. Initially, Airbus won. Boeing appealed, and the Pentagon called for a do-over. Airbus, disgusted with the whole process, declined to participate. Now the entire gulf coast is pissed at Boeing.

In the civilian sector, Airbus designed their huge, double-decker, four-engine A380 to compete with the stalwart Boeing 747. Airbus makes a very big deal about their lower seat/mile costs compared to Boeing, but Boeing counters that their new 747-8 burns even less fuel, resulting in lower seat/mile costs than the A380. Blah blah blah. It’s probably only important to executives who think they can make a profit running an airline. Hah!

Anyway, this guy John Leahy who is “chief operating officer for customers” (whatever that is) for Airbus has publically called the 747 “a dog.” This statement (read it here) made big news in aviation circles. I don’t know whether the 747-8 is “a dog” or not. I do know that Boeing has been building big, solid airplanes since…well, forever.

And now it turns out that the brand-new, super-high-tech Airbus A380 is developing cracks in the wings. (Details here.) Airbus is downplaying these cracks, of course, calling them “tiny.” Airbus says that the cracks are occurring in a non-critical part of the wing. Which causes us to ask: Are there any non-critical parts of an airplane wing? Aren’t they all critical? They know about them; they’re watching and fixing them, Airbus says.

The FAA hasn’t made too big a deal about this, since no domestic U.S. operators are flying the A-380 at this time. But leave it to the news media to dig up somebody who’ll offer a pithy quote. In this case we have a guy named Stephen Purvinas, who is the Federal Secretary of the Australian Licensed Aircraft Engineers Association. Don’t think that the ALAEA is a federal agency, it’s not. Their website describes themselves as, “…a federally registered Australian organization that represents the industrial, technical and professional interests of Licensed Aircraft Maintenance Engineers (“mechanics” in the U.S.)

Anyway, Purvinas is concerned about these “tiny” cracks. He says,

“They (Airbus) have described these as tiny cracks, but every crack starts off as a tiny crack and they can grow very quickly." Point taken! Purvinas goes on, warming up to the subject.

“Put it this way, I wouldn't put my family on an A380 at the moment ,"

Strong words!

Airbus has an…“interesting” history when it comes to building airliners. You may recall an A300 that crashed just after takeoff from JFK airport not long after 9/11. The NTSB investigated and determined that in response to an encounter with wake turbulence, the copilot (who was flying) got a little too aggressive on the rudder pedals and caused the vertical fin (the big tail piece to which the rudder is attached) to snap clean off! Most of us didn’t believe it was actually possible. But on an Airbus, which has a vertical fin made of composite materials (not metal and rivets like on a Boeing) it most definitely is possible that the fin can snap off like that of a model airplane.

And in the case of American Airlines flight 587, one did just that. When the vertical fin snapped from the fuselage, the airplane yawed so violently that both engines were torn from their wing mounts and flung off to the sides. What a fun ride that must have been.

There is a saying amongst airline people: “If it aint Boeing, I aint going.” It’s moot to me because I do not fly on the airlines anymore. But if I did, I’d probably opt for a Boeing product over something made by Airbus. Just sayin’.

Quitting...and Unquitting

That’s not an old picture of me with the Bell 206 I used to fly. Nope, it was taken today, Saturday, January 12th. Your assumption is therefore correct: I’m back at my old job.

Generally I believe that when you quit a job you should stay quit. But you know how the universe is: It sometimes doesn’t care what we think.

The pilot who took my place (let’s call him “R,” for replacement) was let go. Just didn’t work out. The boss listed a bunch of reasons, but they weren’t anything he hadn’t bitched at me about when I was there. I think the actual reason was simply that the boss and R just didn’t “click.” I sort of sensed it as I was bringing R up to speed before I left, but I hoped that they would get along okay as they got to know each other. They didn’t. The chemistry just wasn’t right.

Originally, I was just going to do a couple of days of part-time helicopter flying while R was off flying the jet. That went okay, but afterward the boss called and said he had to let R go (right at Christmas time, naturally). He asked if I’d continue on a more regular part-time situation, and I agreed. But I quickly saw that it would be better all around if I were just on the payroll. The good thing about this time is that both the boss and I know that I can walk away at any time. Not saying I will or even that I would, but I can. It’s a nice feeling.

The reason I decided to go back on full-time status is that there is a lot to do. The helicopter is coming up on its Annual Inspection soon, and we have some components that need to be replaced and overhauled. If I’m going to coordinate all of this stuff I might as well get paid for it. Nevertheless I am only back until spring. In May I am going back up to Brewster, Washington to dry cherries again, which I do more for the fun than the money. What my boss in Alabama will do with N206TH while I’m gone is not my concern.

Things have always been weird with me…so unpredictable. I cannot explain it. I will work for my old boss for the next couple of months, and then go up to Washington for a couple of months. After that…who knows? I have learned over the years to not ask too many questions, but rather to just go with the flow.

God's Will (Part I)

My friend Jacob is distraught over the breakup with his latest girlfriend. He’s going through a rough time. Alvhild (don’t ask me where the name comes from) was the third or fourth “she’s the one” girl with whom Jacob would spend the rest of his life, raise a family, blah blah blah.

Jacob tends to get a little obsessive about these relationships, and he takes their inevitable endings pretty hard - harder each time as he gets closer and closer to age thirty. I say “inevitable endings” and it might seem unkind. I mean, he’s certainly entitled to have a loving, productive, long-lasting relationship, right? Right. And yet the intensity he pours into these relationships simply cannot be sustained – at least, not to this casual observer.

It is his religion that encourages (pressures?) its members to marry young and multiply. The religion is all about family. The insufferable cynic in me thinks it’s just a little self-serving. Get married and have a bunch of kids who become church members…who grow up and get married and have a bunch of kids who become… You get the picture.

Either way, the church’s influence is such that young men like Jacob feel they are somehow inferior or inadequate if they do not live up to the expectations. They are taught to want to have a family, whether they actually want one or not. Religion has a way of doing that to you. Little room for individual or independent thinking. (There’s that cynic in me coming out again.)

So Jacob is up in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, where he moved to be near Alvhild while she attends the University of Alabama. She has a plan for her life: She wants to be a nurse. After graduation, she plans on moving out to Utah to go through BYU’s nursing school. Her plans apparently don’t include him. (Then again she’s 19; her “plans” change on a daily or weekly basis.)

But Jacob isn’t taking this breakup lying down. He plans on also moving to Utah, just to be near her should she have an epiphany and reconsider her love for him. I know what you’re thinking – I’ve said it to him as well: The girl may consider a move like that to be, well, stalking. With such statements Jacob gets defensive. And huffy.

“People tell me that it’s probably God’s Will that we’re not supposed to be together,” he says. “But what if it’s God’s Will that we’re supposed to be together? And what if He wants me to not just give up, but to move out there and keep pursuing her?”

Ahh, how do you argue with such logic?

He may be right, I suppose. But I prefer to think of it this way: If some company from Utah called out of the blue and offered Jacob a high-paying job as a phlebotomist (the field in which he is trained), then I would say go for it! The Universe/God would be sending him a clear message. Otherwise, I wouldn't risk the Temporary Restraining Order that's sure to come.

We cannot presuppose to know God’s Will. All we can do is simply have faith, live our lives, and go where He puts us. We can’t force the issue. We cannot tell Him which road to take us down, or which exit to select.

Nor should we.