It’s not that I’m clairvoyant, but I am a big ol’ skeptic. I figured something was up. I mean, it didn't take a geeeeeenius to see through this one. And who names their kid “Falcon” anyway?
First we heard the alarming news that some sort of helium balloon...kind of a homemade flying saucer...had gotten loose from somebody's backyard in Colorado and there might be a boy inside it. Dear God! Edge-of-seat stuff! Another national emergency of the “baby falls down well” type we seem to do so well. News helicopters circled military helicopters who could only stand-by and do…well...nothing but watch with the rest of us.
Shortly thereafter the craft came down and lo and behold, no boy in the balloon. Did he fall out? Dear God! We were on the edge of our seats yet again. Turned out he’d been hiding in the attic over the garage all along, they said. Next, we heard that the parents had been on ABC-TV’s “Wife Swap” show.
And that they were now "storm chasers."
Publicity stunt, said I.
And that’s all it was.
The sad thing is that the boy, already saddled with the unfortunate moniker, “Falcon” will now and forever be known as “Balloon Boy.” Just say those words and everyone knows who/what you’re talking about. Ain’t the media wonderful!
My youngest sister Eleanor tweeted, “Developing…Jon Gosselin to adopt Balloon Boy in advance of new poor parenting reality show.” I thought it was funny.
But seriously, who names their kid, “Falcon,” anyway?