Who Am I?

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A nobody; a nitwit; a pilot; a motorcyclist; a raconteur; a lover...of life - who loves to laugh, who tries to not take myself (or anything) too seriously...just a normal guy who knows his place in the universe by being in touch with my spiritual side. What more is there?

23 October 2010


This morning, nineteen days after my motorcycle accident I passed a major milestone: I was able to button my own jeans. I know, it sounds silly. But for the last couple of weeks, my broken shoulder simply made it impossible for me to use my left arm for much of anything. Healing progress has been slow, perhaps because I’m not a teenager anymore. I still cannot raise the arm away from my side (much), nor can I swing it fore and aft. But this morning I was able to button my jeans. I’ll take that.

The time has passed slowly. While the pain in my upper arm has thankfully diminished, it hasn’t completely left. There’s a constant low-grade, dull pain that’s just bad enough to keep me from sleeping well. I get, maybe, three hours at a time. Up until very recently I haven’t even been able to sleep lying down. So I’ve been spending a lot of time sleeping on the couch…sitting on the couch, actually. I guess I could take the oxycodone they prescribed, but I’d rather not take those. My little cocktail of Aleve and Tylenol works well enough.

With my arm in the sling and under my shirt, I joke that if the Brewton, Alabama Little Theatre ever puts on that musical version of "The Fugitive" I’ll be perfect for the role of the one-armed man (menacingly played by Bill Raisch in the original TV series). But seriously, the loss of use of a limb is a tremendous inconvenience. I cannot imagine what life must be like for an amputee. It’s got to be horrible. There are so many things you cannot do. Like tie your shoes. Or open a jar of pickles. Everything is more difficult.

Normal people have wives and/or kids and/or girlfriends to help them out in times like these, and there are compelling reasons for having any or all of those. Unfortunately, I don’t. Fortunately, I have great friends. One of them, my riding buddy Jacob is currently on-hold, waiting for his church to send him on a two-year mission. Thus, he was available to come and stay with me. And right after the accident he did just that. I am so thankful.

Aside from helping me around the house, helping me get dressed and driving me around, Jacob has been performing certain, um, other duties. Not to be indelicate, but in the shower I cannot reach certain areas of my body. Get your minds out of the gutter – I mean between my shoulder blades and under my arms. Jacob, bless his heart, has been helping me in that regard (no, he doesn’t get in the shower with me).

As luck would have it, the boss is out of town for a couple of weeks so I don’t have to fly. I can just sit around and get better, which is exactly what I’m doing. It’s easy with someone to wait on me hand and foot. Jacob has literally been a Godsend. If I were obscenely rich I’d have a manservant around to help me put my socks on every day!


Bob said...

Ok you answered my question from your other post. Glad to hear you are on the mend, albeit slowly. Also glad for Jacob. Great to have good friends.

Glad this has not affected your witty blog posting. Continue to bet better, my friend.

Greybeard said...

God Bless Jacob. I'm sure you'd do the same for him though, wouldn't you? And I'm sure he knows that.
Someday maybe we'll all get a chance to "Pay it forward".
My wife and I are now involved helping care for an aging friend with Alzheimers. It's tough, but she's been good to us for years and it's the least we can do.

Some years ago my cousin had a low speed (again, thank God) collision on his Harley with a "Blue-haired lady" that pulled out in front of him. BOTH his arms were broken and in casts.
Losing the use of one arm is mighty tough. You have a better feel than anyone what the loss of use of both arms would entail.
(And yes, my wife and I both joked about what my cousin's post-bathroom experience must have been like.)

Bob Barbanes said...

Eek, GB I don't even want to THINK about that. I mean, Jacob's a good friend and all, but...he knows how much I love Taco Bell. So I think if I'd broken both arms in my crash he'd be, like, "You're calling Hospice. And if you can't dial the phone, I'll do *that* for you!"

I am blessed to have friends like Jacob - but I happily note that at the same time other friends volunteered to come and do the same thing for me (suspiciously, after first determining that I did have the use of at least one hand). All joking aside, as I've often said, I've got the BEST friends in the world. They make getting through little rough spots like this very bearable (if not actually enjoyable).

Debby said...

LOL at Taco Bell.

All joking aside, I'm glad that you're on the mend. Obviously, your sense of humor did not get damaged in the crash.