I used to be
able to walk into a convenience store, pour myself a cup of coffee, grab a Danish
and the newspaper and then be outta there in no time. It was why we called them convenience
stores in the first place. Not anymore,
oh no. Now getting a lousy cup of coffee
is a process.
Now they
have these automated coffee machines. On
a touch-screen you have to select from a variety of beans, which are housed in
plastic bins on top (above eye level, which will become relevant later). Then you have to tell it what size cup you
have. Finally you
have to tell it whether to leave room for milk in the cup. It's a lot of fussy button-pushing. Holy cow, when did getting a cup of lousy
coffee become so time-consuming! I’ve
seen befuddled people, cup in hand, staring at the machines, trying to figure
out what they need to do.
This is not progress. This is merely overcomplication of a simple task for the convenience of the clerks, so they don’t have to spend their time making sure the coffee pots are full. Except…at the last Circle-K I went into, the bin up on top labeled “House Blend” was empty, something I didn’t notice until after it started making me a cup of slightly brown hot water.
This is not progress. This is merely overcomplication of a simple task for the convenience of the clerks, so they don’t have to spend their time making sure the coffee pots are full. Except…at the last Circle-K I went into, the bin up on top labeled “House Blend” was empty, something I didn’t notice until after it started making me a cup of slightly brown hot water.
Convenience stores have gotten kind of silly lately, offering a half-dozen different flavors of coffee. And I'm, like, who cares? Just brew a pot of regular and a pot of decaf. And keep 'em full. Boom - done.
Like all curmudgeons, I long for the old days...a simpler time...you know, a week or so ago when you didn’t need to be a computer programmer just to get a cup of regular coffee. You want some fancy blend? Go to Starbucks. Now get outta my way, I'm in a goddamn hurry.
2 comments:
I don't drink coffee. I do most of the household grocery shopping which I like to do first thing in the morning after the kids are on the bus. I used to be able to park right near the doors, quickly do my shopping and be out of there in 15 minutes or less. Then the grocery store went and installed a Starbucks counter. Now I have to park halfway across the parking lot full of idling cars as their drivers are inside lined up waiting for their specialty coffee to be made. Even worse, they buy other things like donuts to go with their coffee and have to pay for those at the same checkout lines where I have to check out. I liked grocery shopping a lot more before they started selling coffee too.
We Americans have gotten pretty kooky about coffee. And Starbucks is making a fortune off of our kookiness. I never got into those fancy, frilly mocha-choco-latta-ya-ya things with a little heart design artfully rendered in the froth by the barrista (mainly because I have a penis), and I don't think it's necessary to pay $6.95 for a goddamn Danish that'll be gone in two bites. So Starbucks ain't making any money offa me in other words. Nor will they.
But Ed, if I found such a situation as you describe at my local grocery store, I do believe I'd start shopping elsewhere. Or at least, after 10 or 11 a.m. when the millennials finally make it to work.
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