I don’t know why I’m feeling so grumpy lately. Things are going so well in my life! But more and more I’m feeling like some crabby old man who complains about everything. Speaking of which…
What is this, the 1950's? I’ve linked a story HERE about a University of California freshman who recently died from an alcohol overdose during an apparent hazing ritual. His distraught father said, "We have discovered the horrifying truth about fraternity hazing."
Really? So YOU have just made this incredible scientific discovery, eh pops? Whoa, alert the media!
To the father I would say: What, have you been asleep or living under a rock for the last...ohhhh, thirty years as fraternity hazing stories (and the deaths associated with them) have become more and more prevalent?
Look, I'm sorry this guy lost his kid, really. No parent should have to go through that. But sending your child off to college, especially to join a fraternity and without warning him of the dangers and temptations that he or she WILL surely face is simply being negligent - not doing YOUR DUTY as a parent.
How's about telling your child, "Hey man, we all want to belong...to fit in...to be The Man (as in, “You da man!”)…to feel like we're part of the Kool Kids Klub. That’s natural. And some people will do anything to achieve those goals...they'll even die for them! Don't do that. Be smart. Those idiots in the frat are not your friends. They will happily stand by and let you kill yourself if you want to. Hell, they might even encourage it and cheer you on! Later, after your body has been taken away they will disavow any knowledge of or responsibility for your demise. They’ll say that it was your choice. And their lives will go on."
That is what I’d tell my kid.
Who Am I?
- Bob Barbanes:
- A nobody; a nitwit; a pilot; a motorcyclist; a raconteur; a lover...of life - who loves to laugh, who tries to not take myself (or anything) too seriously...just a normal guy who knows his place in the universe by being in touch with my spiritual side. What more is there?
4 comments:
I remember the lecture my parents gave me about fitting in and hazing before I went to college 30 years ago.
Ed, apparently not all parents are as smart as yours. Mine just told me not to go to college so I wouldn't be subject to such temptation. Not THAT advice I followed!
I get what you’re saying. I was not in a fraternity. I had concerns about my oldest when he went to college because I knew how social he was/is, and I knew he would be attracted to frat life. I gave him the lectures but I also trusted his judgment. He joined a fraternity. He was not a perfect angel through college, by any stretch. But I have to say those guys he ended up being fraternity brothers with are some of the nicest, most polite and personable young men you would ever want to meet and they remain his close friends today. One of them married my daughter! My younger son had a similar experience in a different fraternity. But the hazing, etc. of which you write is horrible, tragic and indefensible, and it’s regrettable that that kind of thing is giving that whole system a black mark.
This is true, Bob. The hazing incidents often overshadow the positive aspects of fraternity life. Productive friendships and relationships made in college can last a lifetime. But...I wonder if it's sometimes a case where those relationships are formed only after passing the entrance exam to the brotherhood. Are you sure you're worthy? There have been too many stories over the years to think that hazing is an extremely rare thing. Probably a lot of shit goes on that never gets talked about. Or only gets talked about when somebody dies.
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