Who Am I?

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A nobody; a nitwit; a pilot; a motorcyclist; a raconteur; a lover...of life - who loves to laugh, who tries to not take myself (or anything) too seriously...just a normal guy who knows his place in the universe by being in touch with my spiritual side. What more is there?

12 July 2008

One Of Those Good News/Bad News Deals

Okay, so I’m officially depressed.

I went to get my haircut yesterday. After I sat down in the chair, the woman stylist ran her hand up through the hair on the back of my head. “Ooh, you have such nice, thick hair!” she said. Which I do…in the back and on the sides. Not so much on top, I am unhappy to report.

This particular stylist was named Brynda…yes, with a “y.” A nice enough middle-aged woman, she said she’d been cutting hair for 25 years and although the money wasn’t all that great she enjoyed making people look and feel better about themselves. I’m not really one for idle barbershop chit-chat, so I was, like, “Yeah, yeah, that’s nice. Just don’t touch the sideburns, okay? Otherwise I’ll look and feel really badly about myself.” For some reason barbers and “stylists” always want to cut sideburns off above the top of the ear. It’s strange; they *all* want to do it.

So anyway, we get done – it doesn’t take long anymore – and I go up to pay.

”That’ll be nine dollars,” she says.

I look at the sign right above her head. “Adult Haircut - $11.00”

“Is that right? Nine dollars?” I ask, like a moron.

”Well, we have a...special rate...for customers...with…” She pauses here, looking at me with an expression that told me she was searching for the right words. ”…Umm, less hair.”


I see. I get a two dollar discount now because they have to do less work.

“Sweetie, is that your way of making me feel better about myself?” I asked, feigning umbrage. “You got it all wrong,” I said. “Instead of insulting those of us with thinning hair, what you should be doing is charging two bucks extra for guys with really thick hair - even if they’re totally bald on top. What guy on the planet would complain? I’d happily pay you more if you told me it was because my hair was so thick and long on the sides and back” (which it had been).

Brynda looked a little sheepish. ”Hey, I thought I was doing you a favor!” she countered.

From the back of the shop one of the other stylists laughingly called out, ”Charge him more, Brynda! Take his money!”

I laughed. Brynda with a “y” laughed too, finally realizing that I wasn’t being serious. (Well, not entirely.)

Bottom line: I took the discount. I grumbled and didn’t like it much, but I took it.

Now I ask you, does this head deserve the "Bald Is Beautiful" discount? I think not! Okay, maybe...


Anonymous said...

Did the facial hair not count, Bob?


Bob Barbanes said...

Heh- I tell 'em not to touch the mustache under the penalty of death!

God, I look like my father in that pic. ...Only he had more (and darker) hair, right up until the day he died. Bastard.

Redlefty said...

Hey, I got mine cut today too! Full price, though. :)

Hal Johnson said...

It may be small consolation, Bob, but mine on top is notably thinner than yours. Actually, it isn't that my hair is thinning. It's more that the spaces between them are getting thicker.

Bob Koford said...

Ahh, you still got some up there, I can see it.

One thing I notice, and I guess bothers me now is when they ask me if I want them to trim my eyebrows, and the hair on my nose.

Funny, I don't remember having that hair there before.

Gene said...

At least it wasn't a "senior citizen discount"..Doubt you're going there anymore.

Bob Barbanes said...

Yes...thanks for all the "supportive" comments, guys. You know, I was at first miffed when I stopped getting "carded" at nightclubs and such. And now this, the baldy discount! Ah, the pleasure of getting old.