What Passes For Humor In Bob's World

Matt and I have spent our entire friendship…12 long years…trying to make each other laugh. Most of the time we’re successful. We have very similar senses of humor, and like to crack each other up. I wouldn't put us up against Seinfeld and Costanza, but we try. We try.

Not everybody “gets” us however, especially his long-suffering girlfriend-now-fiancée Alisha. We think we're hilarious, of course. Most of the time she just rolls her eyes and shakes her head and doesn't find us funny at all.

So Matt and I were in Books-A-Million this afternoon. Having bought the $35 worth of car, motorcycle and airplane magazines that I really should subscribe to, we sat down for a latte at the Joe Muggs coffee place inside. There was a lone, pretty girl, maybe in her mid-20’s behind the counter handling the little spurt of crowd that came through right then (why does that always happen?).

The last person in line was an old guy, older than me, maybe 60-ish. Matt (who’s closer to the girl’s age) and I sat and listened, sympathizing with her as the guy monopolized her time, droning on and on about baseball or something of which she obviously had zero interest or less. Plus, we were sure that she had other things to do in what should have been a lull.

Now, we have both been in such situations, where you have one person that just won’t leave you alone, that wants to hang around and talk talk talk. Matt looked at her and with his head down, in a low whisper uttered what she was surely thinking to herself but was too polite to say: “Please go away.” We both laughed.

It was just about that point that I launched into one of my stories about how his brother Jacob and I were in a motorcycle dealership in Ft. Walton Beach yesterday while Jacob was looking for a new bike, and we were pretending it was I who was looking for something else and was to keep the salesman occupied so Jacob could quietly scout out the one he really wanted, and…

…and suddenly I heard a very low, whispered, “Please go away.” Matt still had his head down, but this time he was looking right at me!

Why I oughtta...

I just have the best friends. Yepper.

He should be careful though, this Matt. He has ill-advisedly asked me to be Best Man at his upcoming wedding. In that role, I get to make the wedding toast. And maybe a short, you know, speech. Depending on just how many Rum and Cokes I’ve knocked back by that point, the toast may turn into more of a roast.

Speaking of which…

There is a fund-raising dinner at New York’s famed Waldorf-Astoria Hotel honoring Alfred E. Smith, one of the most famous politicians in New York State history. Both John McCain and Barack Obama attended this year's event, held just the other night. Both gave interesting, topical speeches as you might expect. For YouTube videos they're a little long at nearly ten minutes apiece, but they're really worth watching. You may have already seen them. But if not then here, for your entertainment pleasure, in no particular order, they are:





Ironically, Obama is the better orator while in this case McCain is the better speechgiver. Obama must not have written his speech entirely, and had obviously not rehearsed it much, because it was cracking him up as if he were reading it for the first time.

Who's is the better speech? Well, I guess that depends on which candidate you favor. They're both very funny. (Obama's was more self-deprecating though.) And it's nice seeing them in a situation where they don't have to take themselves quite so seriously.