Balloon-Boy Syndrome Strikes Again

Okay, normally I resist the urge to comment on the idiotic things that sometimes entrance the nation - or at least the media. Like the Tiger Woods deal. I mean, really: WHO FRIGGIN’ CARES?? If you gave the Tiger Woods story anything more than a casual passing glance, you are an incredible moron who should really get a life of your own. And I think that, truly, most of us do not give a rat’s ass about it. However, the media acted like it was the JFK assassination all over again.

Speaking of which…

So here’s the other Huge Story that everyone seems to be focused on: This couple crashed a party at the White House last week. Big hoo-hah about it…big breach of security. They could have been assassins! Or whatever. They bluffed their way in, and now they’re national celebrities, which was their intent all along. WHO FRIGGIN’ CARES??

Well…you know…like a wreck on the Interstate I could not help reading an Associated Press story about them on my Yahoo homepage this morning. The headlines was: “WH gate-crashers went without confirmed invitation.” When I saw that I thought to myself, “No shit.” Was there any question about that? The White House has already said they weren’t on the guest list. End of story? Should’ve been. NOT IN AMERICA, BABY! Even as I clicked on the headline link I knew I was wasting my time. But I'm a glutton for punishment, and I figured that if I read one story about these idiots, it might as well be that one.

And then, down at the very end of the story was this bit:

NBC's parent company, NBC Universal, also owns the cable network Bravo. Michaele Salahi has been trying to land a part on an upcoming Bravo reality show, "The Real Housewives of D.C.," and was filmed by the Bravo show around town as she prepared for the White House dinner.

(Ahhh, well that explains why I saw their ugly mugs – briefly, as I was surfing by – on some NBC “news” magazine show last night. Yay, give them some MORE publicity, NBC!)

But wait…hang on. This Salahi bimbo has merely been TRYING TO LAND a part on that reality show I’ve never heard of and will probably never watch, but Bravo was following her around with a camera crew anyway as she prepared for a party she wasn’t even invited to? And she isn’t even on the show? Oh for the love of God... Andy Warhol, where are you, man. You were so right!

There’s this big debate raging about Fox News. Proponents say it’s the only unbiased news outlet. Detractors say it’s just as biased as NBC, but in the opposite way. Let me tell you something – ALL MEDIA IS BIASED, okay? And all media sucks. The inane, incredibly stupid and out-of-proportion attention given to bullshit stories like the Tiger Woods incident and the White House party-crashers are the very reason I have such a low opinion of the mainstream media.

I may not have more important things to worry about, and I may not be able to completely avoid exposure to the media, but I absolutely could not care less about the things that seem to fascinate our news outlets nowadays.