Flirting With Alcoholism

My father was a bad alcoholic.  It pains me to admit that, and my brothers and sisters would probably prefer that I did not mention it, but the truth is the truth: Throughout most of my formative years, dad’s drinking was a problem.  He did reform, somewhat, in later years, but he never really did stop drinking entirely.

We children of alcoholics all have the gene that makes us susceptible to the “disease” as people like to call it although I’m not sure I agree.  One can always choose to not drink in the first place.  Trouble is, few of us make that choice.  

Now, I’ll admit that I like to drink.  I don’t drink because I like the taste of beer (or rum!).  I like the way it makes me feel.  If it wasn’t for the bad hangovers I get, I’d drink all the time!  In fact, I could see myself becoming a major alky.  

I’ve never kept alcohol in the house.  No beer in the fridge, no bottles of Jack in the cupboard.  It’s my little way of keeping myself from becoming an alcoholic.  I don’t ever want to be that guy who drinks at home by himself.  If I have guests over, I’ll go out and buy a bottle of nice wine.  Other than that, I don’t drink at home.

Here’s why:  For supper tonight, I cooked up a dish that I’ve known about and liked for a long time.  It’s a complicated recipe, including scallops, cilantro, ginger root, fresh garlic, snow peas, bell peppers, corn starch…oh, and a cup of white wine.  Ingredients of which I have exactly zero.  So out I go…not to Walmart (which never in a million years would have fresh cilantro), but to Publix, the higher-end grocery store where the rich snobs shop.  God, I hate that place.  Nevertheless, they had everything I needed, including a nice bottle of white.  $50.00 later, I'm walking out to the car thinking, "Why didn't we just go out to a nice restaurant?"

The dish came out fine – if a little bland – just as I remembered it.  Since the bottle of wine was already opened, I decided to have a glass with my meal.  And then another.  And soon the bottle was empty and I was back to my “no alcohol in the house” promise.  And right now, as I write this, I am feeing verrrrry good!  

I have gone through periods of fairly heavy drinking in my life.  Happily and thankfully, those days are over.  I’m not one of those annoying reformed-alcoholic teatotalers who claims to never drink – oh no!  If I go out with friends, I can (and will!) still merrily drink them under the table.  I just don’t do that very often anymore.  My goal is to never have another hangover as long as I live.  So far, so good…although we’ll have to see how I feel tomorrow morning.  Putting an open bottle of wine in front of me is a bad, bad thing.