We all have those things we wished we hadn't said, right? And of course, we always remember things we *could* have said, usually well after the opportunity to say them has passed. "Jerkstore!" for example. (You'd have to have watched Seinfeld to get that reference.) It's usually one or the other.
So a guy gets in my Uber at the hilariously-named Pensacola "International" Airport the other morning. Dead ringer for Cory Booker. I mean, spittin' image. But I did not mention this fact. You do not tell a black guy he looks like some famous other black guy. That's like saying all Asians look alike. Even though he did and they do.
I start the trip and see that we're going to the headquarters of Cox Cable, which is up in the Ellyson Industrial Park which used to be Ellyson Field, a Navy flight training base where my dad learned to fly helicopters in 1952. I always like going up to Ellyson. Some of the old hangars are still there, and I can sort of get a sense of what my dad saw when he was there back before I was born.
"My" Cory Booker is obviously some mid-level manager for Cox from out of town. He's only in Pensacola for the day, for a meeting. He sits back, sighs and mentions that his "friends" at Cox were supposed to pick him up at the airport but they didn't show so he had to take an Uber. And what I almost...and I really mean...*ALMOST*….said was, "Some friends, those guys....those suckas...those Cox suckas…" But I bit my tongue and did not make that joke. It was, for those that know me, a great (and unusual) display of self-control.
Who Am I?
- Bob Barbanes:
- A nobody; a nitwit; a pilot; a motorcyclist; a raconteur; a lover...of life - who loves to laugh, who tries to not take myself (or anything) too seriously...just a normal guy who knows his place in the universe by being in touch with my spiritual side. What more is there?
5 comments:
Who knows if your Cory Booker look-alike would have appreciated it, but it made me laugh.
Kelly, I have come to be extremely careful about making "jokes" with my Uber riders. I might say something off-hand, innocuous and light-hearted, only to find that my passenger interprets it very differently. Yes, I've had it happen and have had to apologize for my insensitivity. For instance, one day I was in our typically-bad traffic, grousing about how bad Pensacola drivers are, and that they're almost as bad as those in New Jersey. "We are from New Jersey," my passenger icily informed me. Oopsie! (People from New Jersey absolutely do NOT consider themselves to be bad drivers, even though they are.)
Same thing with gay jokes. You just never know who's sitting in the back seat. Even a "harmless" gay joke can be considered horribly offensive - as happened to my friend, Terry (thankfully not me!). Which brings up the question: Should you even be making gay jokes? I say yes, as long as the jokes are not pointedly mean-spirited or insulting. Every topic can be dealt with humorously, and we lose our humanity when we lose our sense of humor. But you have to be reeeeeaaaaallly careful.
Whatever...we live, we learn (hopefully!).
As one who appreciates dark humor and frequently laughs at inappropriate times, I've learned that in this day and age, it's better to just keep my mouth shut. Some folks are just looking for something to get offended about and I don't want to be the one to set them off!
I've obviously been thinking about what you said since I'm back again. Do you think the folks from NJ would have reacted any differently if you'd actually been from NJ yourself and told them that? Same with gay jokes. Do you think those hearing them would feel differently if they knew the joke teller was gay? Unlike black folks (and the "N" word, which evidently they alone are allowed to say... not that I want to use that word anyway), some demographics can't always be determined by sight alone.
Interesting points, Kelly! For sure, shared culture or experiences can allow for jokes that would otherwise be inappropriate. As you note, blacks can use the N-word freely and without restriction, but let a white person use it and there'll be hell to pay! Gays do the same thing with the F-word. As for drivers, well, I grew up and learned to drive in NYC, so I can speak about NY and NJ drivers from a first-hand perspective. And they're all bad - way too unnecessarily aggressive. But even as an ex-New Yorker, I could never say that to a New Jersey motorist. They believe that they're among the best drivers on this, and any other planet.
Point being, you never know how someone will interpret and react to something meant as a joke. So it's probably best to not make any, other than ones that are self-deprecating. And luckily, I'm good at those ;-)
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