In Praise of Captain Kirk

So I’m sitting home last evening when Matt calls.

“Hey, you want to go to Kooter Brown’s and drink some beers, eat some chicken wings and watch the Jets play on Monday Night Football?”

I had just had supper and was stuffed, as usual because I cook for an army and eat like horse. But beer and chicken wings? That's like Jello: There's always room for beer and wings. “Sure!”

“Well I’ll be pulling into your driveway in about, ohhhhh, forty-five seconds,” he says.

He knows me so well. He was already enroute to my house when he called.

Kooter Brown’s is a local sports-bar – you know the kind, with t.v. sets all over the place showing a multitude of sporting events and sports memorabilia lining the walls. Places like this are normally packed on Monday nights here in Pensacola. But Kooter’s was surprisingly (and disturbingly) empty. Don’t people go out to party and have fun anymore?

Anyway, one of the televisions had ABC’s “Dancing With The Stars” on. (Our waitress said that an elderly couple had asked if they could watch it. We didn't see any "elderly couples" in the place and assumed it was the waitress herself who wanted to watch it.) Neither Matt nor I recognized any of the “stars.” Thankfully, that show ended. Then “Boston Legal” began.

Now, I don’t watch television; I spend most of my free time online. But every once in a while, I’m reminded that there are some really, really good shows on network t.v., and I think “Boston Legal” is one of them.

Begun in 2004, “Boston Legal” was a spin-off of a series called “The Practice,” which was a fine show in its own right. “BL” has got a great cast: James Spader; Candice Bergen, John Larroquette, and of course the great, larger-than-life William Shatner. I used to watch “Boston Legal,” but it was part of the collateral damage when I got fed up and just stopped watching t.v. altogether.

Seeing “Boston Legal” again (silently, the volume was turned down so everyone could hear the Jets’ commentary) reminded me of how much I like William Shatner. And who doesn’t like Shatner?

Spader (“Alan Shore”) and Shatner (“Denny Crane!”) are wonderful together. It’s fun to watch them. And I guess I will be doing it again. Temporarily. “Boston Legal” is in its fifth and final season – and a short one (12 episodes) at that. Oh well…

To give you an idea of how much fun “Boston Legal” is, here are a couple of snippets of dialogue from the series:

Alan Shore: [referring to a book about parasites found on salmon] "This book, 'A Stain Upon The Sea,' it's all about these sea lice."
Denny Crane: "Interesting."
Alan Shore: "They call them cling ons."
Denny Crane: "Did you say Klingons?"

And this one…

Denny Crane: [walking through a crowd of reporters] “Dennycranelaw.com. Pictures, bios, hobbies. I once captained my own spaceship. Multi-talented.”

I love t.v. shows that don’t take themselves too seriously. “Boston Legal” certainly does not.

Remember the phone company called MCI (now Verizon)? They had a t.v. commercial on that was just hilarious.



Adding Jonathan Frakes ("Commander Riker" from "Star Trek: The Next Generation") was a stroke of genius.

Then again, I am obviously and easily amused. I love these little flashes of brilliance that t.v. can occasionally offer.

Finally, William Shatner is known as the spokesman for the Priceline.com travel service.



The look on Shatner's face as the realization sinks is is terrific.

By the way, wings were great (hot!), the beer (Yuengling) was watery and the Jets lost.