Restaurants And Viruses

Okay, I'll admit it, I like the Olive Garden restaurant. I know that some people turn up their nose at the place: Not authentic Italian; lousy food and all of that, but I don't care. I have enjoyed myself every time I've eaten there. Get this: I KNOW IT'S A CHAIN RESTAURANT and not something owned by two guys recently off the boat from Tuscany. I like the food anyway. But there's a lot more to a restaurant than its food.

Olive Garden has put a lot of thought into the whole dining-out experience, from the interior design to the staff and finally to the menu. In my opinion it all works together successfully. Others must agree - OG's are always crowded. And even when they're crowded the atmosphere is laid-back, comfortable and relaxed.

My friend Mark and I went to the OG for a lunch recently. We got there around 1:00, and the restaurant began emptying out as we ate and talked...and talked...and drank. I rather like their "house" red wine - even more than the expensive name-brand wines I snobbily buy. Our waiter kept dutifully refilling our glasses. Nobody rushed us or made us feel like we were intruding. Eventually, we realized the staff was setting up for the dinner crowd. By the time we paid the bill ($90!) and stumbled out into the parking lot it was nearly four-thirty. Funny how time flies with good conversation and cheap wine.

So a new Olive Garden opened up in Grand Forks, ND. There is an 85 year-old woman by the name of Marylin Hagerty who writes a daily "general interest" column for the Grand Forks Herald newspaper. Hagerty devoted one of her columns to the new OG restaurant and it went, as they say on the internets, "viral."

Apparently, at first she was being mocked on Facebook and Twitter for doing a serious review of a chain restaurant that no serious "foodie" would ever patronize. No, they'd rather patronize a little 85 year-old lady. (I didn't see any of the FB posts and I don't subscribe to Twitter.) But then the mainstream media picked up on it and Ms. Hagerty's fame really exploded. Suddenly she was all over the place. You know how those chirpy network morning show hosts love a story like this; they still can't seem to comprehend the power of the internet and how it can turn ordinary people into stars.

Marylin Hagerty did not review the Olive Garden with the jaundiced eye of a big city food critic. She just reported on the opening of a highly anticipated restaurant in little Grand Forks, North Dakota which, at 52,800 people is just about the same size as dinky Pensacola, Florida (except that we have 300,000 in our county whereas Grand Forks County only has 67,000).

You can read Ms. Hagerty's column in which she reviewed the Grand Forks Olive Garden HERE.

Alternative Music

After I wrote about my love of the music of the 1980s, blogger-friend Debby asked what music I like now? The sad thing is that I listen to very little music anymore – who has the time? Plus, nothing I hear on mainstream commercial radio is even remotely interesting. Everything seems to be Auto-Tune’d and over-produced to death.

We have XM Radio in the helicopter, and on the rare occasion that I’m flying by myself I crank up the Alternative Nation or XMU channels. In my car, there is a program on our local public radio station called World Café which plays some interesting stuff.

I do still love rock – the louder the better, but I am getting older and more in touch with my softer side - my alternative side if you will. Thus, I was blown away by some music I heard recently by two women - sisters from Sweden who call themselves First Aid Kit. There is something about sibling harmony that simply takes my breath away. Give a listen and see if you are not as impressed as I am with this beautiful song.

...you know I'm not asking much of you
just sing, little darling
sing with me



Three of the four names referenced in the chorus are probably familiar to you: Johnny Cash and his wife, June, and Emmylou Harris. The other person mentioned, Gram, is obviously Gram Parsons, a mythical character in the music world – one of those guys who could and should have been a huge star but got sidetracked by drugs and died way too young.

In the 1960s Gram Parsons was part of the movement that literally invented what was to become Country Rock (think the Byrds and the Eagles). He and Emmylou Harris were a couple for a time. He got chummy with the Rolling Stones and probably influenced their foray into country music ("Wild Horses" anyone?). Some people claim that it was Parsons who wrote the Stones' hit, "Honky-Tonk Women," although the Stones deny it. Parsons liked to go out into the desert, to Joshua Tree National Park and get high, which is where he finally died at age 26. Coincidentally (or probably not), Joshua Tree is where the video for “Emmylou” was shot.

I’m also smitten lately by a band called Great Lake Swimmers. Such great music! Please check out their song, “Easy Come, Easy Go.” But before you click on it I must warn you: You know how I’m always complaining about modern music being boringly derivative of stuff I've heard before? You’ll probably make comparisons between the Great Lake Swimmers and Tom Petty and/or the Traveling Wilburys. I don’t even care.



Finally, I’ve always been a big fan of the incredibly talented Conor Oberst. He was part of the group, Monsters of Folk which I’ve raved about in these here pages, but he’s had a varied career both as a solo artist and with various other musicians that he’s worked with. Check out his song, “Sausalito.” It’s really wonderful.



So there ya go, Debby. There are just three things I’m listening to now. I’ll leave the harder stuff for another post.

The Keystone XL Pipeline Controversy

It’s really sad that there is so much misinformation out there concerning the TransCanada Corporation's Keystone XL (KXL) pipeline. The mainstream and public media really aren’t doing their jobs. For example, there was this article today on Yahoo News:

“SENATE BLOCKS BID TO SPEED PIPELINE FROM CANADA.”

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Democratic-controlled U.S. Senate has rejected a Republican bid to speed approval of an oil pipeline from Canada to Texas.

The 56-42 vote Thursday was the latest in a series of partisan skirmishes over the Keystone XL pipeline, which would carry oil derived from tar sands in western Canada to refineries along the Texas Gulf Coast. Sixty votes were needed for approval.

President Barack Obama rejected the proposed $7 billion pipeline in January, citing uncertainty over a yet-to-be-settled route that avoids the environmentally sensitive Sandhills region in Nebraska. Obama said there was not enough time for a fair review before a deadline forced on him by Republicans.

Pipeline supporters call it an important job creator. Opponents say it would transport "dirty oil" that requires huge amounts of energy to produce.

* * *

What people fail to realize is that most of this Canadian oil is not bound for the U.S. market. Oh, no. Canada currently has no way of getting this oil to the international market. Thus, the Keystone XL pipeline would merely be their way of doing that. The destination refinery in Texas is 50% owned by the Saudis! When I point this out to people they go, “Yeah but…uhh, more oil on the international market is a good thing and might bring the price of oil down.” Uh-huh. Right. Face reality - oil from the KXL pipeline will not directly do anything for the price of gasoline for you and me.

The other thing people always misquote is the cost of the pipeline – in this case it’s noted as being “$7 billion.” Big, impressive number, right? Well…not exactly. According TransCanada’s permit application, the entire cost of the KXL pipeline is in fact estimated to be $7 billion. And of that $7 billion $1.8 billion has already been spent! That brings us down to $5.2 billion. However, only 77% of the pipeline will be built in the U.S. That leaves only $4 billion left for the U.S. portion. And remember, these are estimates; they’re probably optimistic. More realistically, TransCanada will probably spend $3 to $4 billion on the U.S. portion of KXL. That’s still a lot of money, I get that, but exaggeration and hyperbole seems to abound with regard to this project. Speaking of which…

What about all these wonderful jobs that would be created? Depending on who's doing the talking, the numbers vary from "thousands" to "tens of thousands" to hundreds of thousands! Bullshit. Plain and simple bullshit. TransCanada’s own calculations on their Federal Environmental Impact Study are that the pipeline will generate between 2,500 and 5,000 jobs. The catch is that these are temporary jobs that will move along as does the pipeline. Once the pipeline is completed in that area those jobs go away. Number of permanent jobs created? About 600, at the metering/pumping stations along the way – the refineries on the Texas Gulf Coast already exist. That’s a far cry from the hundreds of thousands! we hear so much about in the news.

People like to use this KXL pipeline as some sort of weapon with which to beat up on the president. They say that he is doing all sorts of bad things by not approving the project, from being a "jobs killer" to keeping the price of gasoline high and not doing a thing about our so-called "dependence on foreign oil." I'd like to point out here that EVERY president since Nixon has said that we must end our “dependence” on foreign oil. Every goddam one of them. But exactly NONE of them has done anything about it. So if you want to criticize Obama, go ahead. But let’s not forget Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush I, Clinton and Bush II. (And it makes me wonder: What do they know that we don't? What aren't they telling us?)

For more information, you can read the report that TransCanada commissioned by a company called the Perryman group, which is where much of the information used by the media and various politicians comes from. And you can read the counter report that Cornell University's Global Labor Institute did on it. They’re both extremely interesting.

For me, the bottom line is this: Supporters of the KXL insist that Canadian oil is “ethical” oil- that is, not sourced from countries run by lunatic dictators (are there any other kind?). But here’s what Cornell University had to say:

...KXL is a global project driven by global oil interests. Tar Sands development has attracted investment capital from oil multinationals—with Chinese corporations’ stake getting bigger all the time. If approved, KXL will be almost certainly be constructed by temporary labor working with steel made in Canada and India. Much of the Tar Sands oil will be refined in Port Arthur, Texas, where the refinery is half-owned by Saudi Aramco, the state-owned oil company of Saudi Arabia. And a good portion of the oil that will gush down the KXL will, according to some studies, probably end up being finally consumed beyond the territorial United States. Indeed, the oil industry is also trying to build another pipeline, Enbridge’s proposed Northern Gateway, to carry Tar Sands oil across British Columbia for export to Asian markets, although this pipeline also faces serious public opposition. Clearly, Tar Sands oil and [U.S.] energy independence really do not belong in the same sentence.

The President and Congress are right to take their time and make sure this project gets done right.


PERRYMAN GROUP REPORT

CORNELL UNIVERSITY REPORT

The Greatest Music of All Time

You all know I love the music of the 1980s. Recently I was with my older brother Bill who is six years my senior, and another friend my age. We were in a bar on 23rd Street in NYC literally right next door to the historic Hotel Chelsea where so many cultural luminaries have stayed before they got famous (or dead), including Bob Dylan, Dylan Thomas, Janis Joplin, Arthur C. Clarke(!) and of course, the infamous and ill-fated Sid Vicious (of the ‘70s punk rock band The Sex Pistols) and his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen.

The topic of conversation turned to music. Bill came of age in the ‘60s, the lucky bastard. So while I was kind of young to really appreciate the music of the time, he received its full force on his teenage psyche.

Anyway, I got to ranting (as I do) about how the music of the ‘80s was so great, better than all other music ever made (there may have been beer involved). Bill looked at me with that practiced, condescending expression of an older brother who wasn’t about to let a younger one get away with saying something stupid, even if there was beer involved.

“So tell me, Bobby,” he said with arched eyebrow, “what are some of the bands from the ‘80s that I might have heard of?”

Uhh. Ever get put on the spot and draw a complete blank? It was a classic Jackie Gleason moment. Hammina-hammina-hammina. I scratched my brain, but only weakly came up with the Pet Shop Boys, Duran Duran, and…I looked at my cohort for help, but he offered none.

Bill said nothing, letting us stew in our uncomfortable silence. He’d made his point. In defense of the 1980’s, while we may not have had supergroups like The Beatles and the Stones, we still did have a lot of great music produced by infinitely more but less well-known bands. (Actually, as I type this I’m still having trouble coming up with ‘80s bands that really made a mark. Flock of Seagulls? Really? I think not. But they did have a good song or two. Okay, one.)

Flash forward. There is a new channel on my local cable system called Cool-TV. They play music videos the way MTV and VH-1 used to before those channels turned to shit. I usually do not have the TV on unless I want to watch something specific (e.g. “Cougartown”), and then I shut it off. But I had Cool-TV on in the background the other day while doing, oh, something important (playing on Facebook, I think). And then it happened. A song began that I had trouble identifying at first. I could have been Pink Floyd’s “Run Like Hell” (from “The Wall” album), but it might also have been Stevie Nicks’ “Edge Of Seventeen.”

Nope, neither, it was Survivor’s 1982 hit, “Eye of the Tiger.” The song is typical ‘80s crap-rock, but the video is hilarious. Hilariously bad, that is. I can’t believe that the people putting this together actually thought it was good. It is not. It rivals Journey's horrible "Separate Ways" video for sheer and utter badness.

The "Eye of the Tiger" video opens up with various night scenes in an indeterminate city. It’s obviously a bad part of town, judging by the signs we see for “totally nude girls." We are introduced to the band members one at a time. First is the leather jacket and beret-clad lead singer, Dave Bickler. He scowls menacingly, then begins striding quickly down the street, joined in V-formation by the rest of the band who are also similarly attired in too-tight leather jackets and waaaaay too-tight jeans (dear Lord!). As I said, they are all similarly attired…except…except for founding member of the band, Jim Peterik. Either the producer failed to tell Peterik that the “look” of the video was going to be “everyone in black leather” or Peterik unilaterally decided to go his own way with his unbuttoned shirt and white t-shirt (what a rebel!). He looks decidedly out of place in that band of faux-ruffians.

I present the video here for your viewing pleasure. Be prepared to laugh.



I get my brother Bill’s point. But I still maintain that some terrific music came out of the 1980s, even if the decade did live in the shadow of the 1960s, which I’ll soberly concede produced some of the greatest music of all time.

Grudging Props to the iPad

Today I received a comment on my post about me getting a smart phone. Mike, the commenter said, “Welcome to the 'Modern World' Bob. It’s crazy what you can do with technology these days. I’ve got flight instructors who use the iPad for a kneeboard*. It’s spiffy. It’s interesting where we’ve been and where we’re headed.”

Funny he should say that.

As I type this I’m sitting in a hotel room in Birmingham, Alabama. On the desk in front of me are: 1) My laptop; 2) my iPad; and 3) my Android smart phone.

My iPad isn’t good for writing. In fact, I’ve been slow to warm up to the iPad. I like it and all, but I just can’t see it replacing either my laptop *or* smart phone. It's an interesting device - one that I’ve been keeping it at arm’s length, so to speak, tucked away in my overnight bag.

However the iPad is good with this amazing aviation program called Foreflight. Whoever designed this thing is a genius. The program combines all of the things we pilots need as we go about our jobs. Flight-planning, weather, navigation…you named it, it’s got it. For me, the best feature is Foreflight’s ability to present Sectional Charts (which are just aviation-specific maps). I'll tell you why in a second. This is fine by itself (and indeed, other programs do this too. But Foreflight places your aircraft on the chart and shows its progress as you move along. No more getting lost! No more folding and unfolding paper maps!

Today was a busy day for us and the helicopter. The boss wanted to visit five locations in Mississippi and Alabama. There are really no Interstate highways that go to these places, and he would not have been able to see all of the locations in one day without the helicopter. We left home base, headed for our first stop: Tuscaloosa, Alabama. From there we continued north to Tupelo, Mississippi where we’ve opened a new dealership. Very quickly I discovered a problem.

Normally I carry with me the two aviation charts (i.e. “maps”) that cover the area we normally fly in. Somehow the charts got mixed up and I did not have the appropriate chart for any of the locations we were headed for. Don’t ask me how…it was a dumb mistake on my part. I did however have the appropriate chart for Baton Rouge, Louisiana, but that city was not on our list. This is not a huge problem, as the aircraft GPS has all the information I need. And there is no FAA requirement that I keep paper charts in the aircraft. But I’m old-school – I like having paper charts.

But then I thought, “Heyyyyy, wait a minute! I’ve got the iPad!” I whipped that puppy out of the baggage compartment and fired it up. Sure enough, I was able to display everything I needed. And the beauty? You can take the chart on the screen and zoom it to make it readable even without reading glasses! (You young pilots do not yet appreciate the usefulness of this feature. But you will!)

My dad, who flew in WWII and the Korean “conflict” is long gone now. But if he were to somehow come back from the grave he would not believe the advances in technology that have come to aviation. He would scoff at me, tell me how easy I’ve got it, and then tell me I’m not a real pilot if I can’t do a 500 mile flight with just a compass, a watch and an old road map from an Esso gas station. In really poopy weather.

Which is all true.

The iPad is now a permanent part of the "necessities" I carry in the cockpit when I fly. The paper charts (when I remember to bring them) will stay folded up in a pouch. I may even write a little app which will let me use the iPad as my flight log sheet (which lets me keep track of my takeoff and landing times, where I've been and who I've flown) so I don't have to maintain the paper one.

Time marches on, baby!




* A kneeboard is just a small clipboard some pilots use which rests on and is sometimes attached to our thigh just above our knee. On it we usually attach pertinent information about the flight (charts, pens, notes, clearances, etc.) that we want to keep handy so we don’t have to grope around the cockpit for it. They even make one now that accommodates an iPad. I don't usually use a kneeboard, but the iPad thingee might make me a convert.

Guitar Hero? More Like Guitar Zero

I’ve always wanted to play the guitar. There was a pawn shop on the way home from elementary school, and in the window they had some sort of electric guitar – for all I know it might have been a real Fender Stratocaster back in those days before their prices became stratospheric. Whatever it was, it was there and I’d always stop and lust over it. The problem was back then (as it is now) that I didn't think I had any talent. My parents had forced piano lessons on me when I was ten, but I didn’t learn anything other than I can find Middle-C now. I’d look at that guitar in the window and think, “Some day…some day…”

Well, that someday is now, only 46 years later.

I did not want an acoustic guitar; nor did I want one that was completely electric. There is a hybrid is called a “semi-hollow body.” It’s a cross between an acoustic and a traditional electric: A big, thin guitar with two acoustic chambers on either side of the strings and electric pickups. Think Chet Atkins or early George Harrison. Both Gretsch and Gibson had been making similar versions of this type since the 1950’s. They are more of a country music guitar than hard rock. (They can sound kind of “twangy.”) But I wanted something versatile – you can play semi-hollow bodies at home without an amp. Compromises are usually never good, but even today semi-hollow body guitars still have a big following.

ABOVE: Ahh, the original! The Gibson ES-335.

My friend Larry Curtis was a fellow pilot when we were both at PHI back in the day. I left the company in 2001, but he stayed there until a recent health problem sidelined him, perhaps for good. As well as being a great helicopter pilot, he is also an accomplished musician. On YouTube he had posted many videos of himself recreating many famous songs – with Larry doing all of the parts! (Although I see he has removed nearly all of the videos for some reason.) His YouTube name is/was The Silver Hamer which I thought was a misspelling at first. It is not; Larry likes Hamer guitars. I turned to him for advice.

I told Larry I was considering the Ibanez AS73 and the Epiphone Dot Studio. These are modern replicas – you might say “knockoffs” of the incredible Gretsch Country Gentleman and Gibson ES-335 (which are still being produced and are hideously expensive now). The Ibanez and Epiphone had the look that I wanted, and the reviews said they were pretty good guitars for the price. They’re available new at most guitar shops for around $400.

ABOVE: Here's the Ibanez AS73. It's nice- but it just didn't push the right buttons for me.

ABOVE: And here's the Epiphone Dot Studio. Kind of plain and cheap-looking if you ask me.

Larry suggested I instead look at a guitar called the Hamer Echotone. And so I did. It had everything I wanted, and it had gotten great reviews as well. While brand-new Echotones are not being made anymore, there were a couple on eBay in my price range. One even had all of the modifications suggested in most of the reviews, and came with a hard-shell case too! I bid on it and won. It is bright red - oh boy, is it red! I would have preferred something a little less flashy, but oh well.

Here's the Hamer Echotone. *My* Hamer Echotone!

So now I have my guitar. All I have to do is learn how to play it. And there’s the rub. If you look at most accomplished guitarists, they have long, slender fingers. My fingers are short and stubby. Makes it tough to play some of the chords. And then there's that talent thing...

It’s odd learning a new skill at this age. I try to practice a little every day, but even so progress is slow. Frustratingly slow. Not to worry, some things don’t come easy. I did not learn to fly a helicopter overnight. I know that learning to play the guitar will take some time as well. And learn, I will.

Me and the Modern World

You know my attitude towards phones: I hate 'em. But sometimes you've just got to go with the flow.

I’d been putting off getting a smart phone. I wanted one; I just couldn’t see committing two years of my life to AT&T or Verizon and jumping on the iPhone bandwagon. And the expense! How on earth do people justify cell phone bills of $100/month? I couldn’t do it. My phone/cable/internet bill at home is only $60/month, but still! Do I look rich? Do I look like I have money to burn?

My friend Mikey had the solution. Walmart was selling a Samsung Galaxy smart phone for $150. With it comes a "Straight Talk" no-contract plan with unlimited talk, text and internet for $45/month. No, it’s not the latest-and-greatest, gee-whiz technological marvel (i.e. it’s not the Galaxy IIs), and it’s only a 3g phone, and it uses the Sprint network. But for what I need it adequately fills the bill. For now. It remains to be seen if it works up in the hinterlands of Washington State. I may grudgingly become an iPhone convert after all.

As a pilot it’s great having access to real-time weather, of course. But there are so many cool features! One of the other neat things about this Android phone is the ability to compose text messsages by just speaking them. Very handy when driving. Not that I’d ever do that.

Having the internets in your pocket is neat – as nearly everybody on the planet already knows. How did we live without these things? I am an unashamed convert. To which everyone will say, “Took you long enough!”