Helicopter Pilot...Movie Critic??

I have just seen the coming attractions for actor Owen Wilson's new movie, "Drillbit Taylor."

Now I understand why the man tried to kill himself.

The synopsis of the movie is pretty simple. According to the movie's page on IMDB.com: "Three kids hire a low-budget bodyguard to protect them from the playground bully."

Let the hilarity begin!

Usually, movie studios will put the best or funniest parts of a movie into what they call a "trailer." Most of the time you can get a pretty good idea of what the movie is about - whether it's a comedy, a drama or whatever. This one is apparently supposed to be a comedy. At least I think so. All I can say is that everyone associated with it, from the producers who put up the money, to the actors, to the craft-service people, to the guy who drove the honeywagon to the unsuspecting schlubs who mistakenly buy tickets for this bomb...ought to be put on collective suicide watch.

I really can't stand Owen Wilson. Never liked him or his movies. He smirks just a little too much for me, I guess. I used to not like Nicholas Cage either. But then I saw "Con-Air." Loved him in that, everything he's done since, and everything he'll ever do in the future. Sadly, I don't forecast the same for the almost-former Mr. Wilson (I hope he's not a compulsive blogger like me!)

And yes, I am being unfair because no, I have not seen "Drillbit Taylor" yet. It's not inflicting itself on the public until March 21st. Hey- maybe the world will end in a horrible nuclear holocaust before then and we'll all be spared the pain of having to see the incessant t.v. commercials that are sure to come for this piece of crap movie. Ah, that's me, always looking on the bright side.

But don't take my word, judge for yourself.

We should not be too hard on Owen Wilson. Every actor makes bad career choices every now and then. Maybe he needed the money, who knows? There's no shame in that. It probably drives him nuts that he can't be in serious, heavyweight movies like his friend, Ben Stiller (e.g. "Dodgeball" and "Zoolander").

All I know is that if this movie were shipped by air from L.A. to New York, the film containers would never make it through security. The bomb-sniffing dogs would be going crazy, and LAX would surely be shut down.